My wife is dealing with a very difficult situation with her mother who is mid 80's with mild to moderate dementia. She is living by herself and both my wife and her sister are living out of state. She will not move as long as she has any ability to live by herself. A relative has been systematically talking her out of large amount of money that she simply can not afford. Its been gradual up to recently when it has escalated dramatically. Its in 5K and 10 K increments now. Total loss is difficult to quantify but it appears to be approaching 6 figures. This is tearing my wife up. She is on all of her mother's accounts except for her CDs and IRAs. However her mother still controls all accounts. The relative has been confronted numerous times to no avail. Her mothers denies the "gifts" but when confronted with the details she says she doesn't remember doing it. She has agreed to do what it takes to protect her existing assets. My wife's only objective is for her mother to have the resources to continue to live alone with part time in-home care which is her mother's desire. Protecting the estate is not a concern of either my wife or her sister. Prosecuting the relative is not an option. Everyone is very protective of him and his family and would do anything to help him. However the money is going for luxury items not necessities. He has gotten a lot of assistance over the years from both his parents and especially me and my wife. That may be part of the problem.
With that backdrop, what are our options to stop the draining of assets? Her mother is willing to do whatever but is simply not capable of stopping it on her own. Assuming that taking legal action against the relative is off the table, what are our best options? I had thought about setting up an online account (fidelity.com,etc) and move her money to that account and link her checking account to that account so that my wife could move money in to the checking account as needed but she could not access any substantial amount. The mother would sign the documents but my wife would control the password and login information. Is that legal? Is there a downside for my wife? Is the existing dementia problematic?
What else would be options? Is this a banking issue, a legal issue or both? For the Upper Cumberland folks who would be a good lawyer to help resolve this issue? This is physically making my wife ill and her health is fragile. Any help/advise would be appreciated.
With that backdrop, what are our options to stop the draining of assets? Her mother is willing to do whatever but is simply not capable of stopping it on her own. Assuming that taking legal action against the relative is off the table, what are our best options? I had thought about setting up an online account (fidelity.com,etc) and move her money to that account and link her checking account to that account so that my wife could move money in to the checking account as needed but she could not access any substantial amount. The mother would sign the documents but my wife would control the password and login information. Is that legal? Is there a downside for my wife? Is the existing dementia problematic?
What else would be options? Is this a banking issue, a legal issue or both? For the Upper Cumberland folks who would be a good lawyer to help resolve this issue? This is physically making my wife ill and her health is fragile. Any help/advise would be appreciated.
