Volquest Community -
I continue to receive kind emails from VolQuest community members asking about the status of my wife, Amy. I'm sad to report that Amy has lost her battle to breast cancer. She was only 36 years old.
Some of you contributed to our fund to help us during this 5-year ordeal. All I can do now is say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm in the process of mourning and putting my family's life back together. Because my daughter is 5 and a spitting image of her mother, I'm reminded daily that I have to move forward, even when I feel angry or just like crying.
Thank you men and women, again! This is what you built:
https://www.gofundme.com/manage/terminal-cancer-medical-fund
Now here are (4) things I learned that I hope will benefit you and your family. I'm going to steer clear of anything faith-related, because I want this message read and I know the rules.
1. When my wife was first diagnosed, she was pregnant with our daughter. We had a complicated case so I helped assemble a leading team of oncologists who did an excellent job helping my wife, and allowing my daughter to be born. Please know this - at least (2) of the oncologists mentioned that they're seeing younger and younger women diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm not a physician so I can't give you medical advice, but PLEASE research this, because I don't want to see another young woman suffer the way I saw my wife suffer. We all know by now that early detection is the key to survival. My wife's regular physician wasn't worried about the tiny lump on her breast that she showed him. By the numbers, she was "too young." That was a fateful mistake.
2. For anyone who doesn't have a life insurance policy who has dependents, get one or at a minimum, do your research and make an informed decision. I was very naive when I got married at a relatively young age and kept putting this off. We weren't bullet proof like I thought we were.
3. For married couples having fights, I know what you're going through, and I've been there, and I know how hard it is to quarrel with someone you love. But please consider this idea - what if the old "ball in chain" only had another 3 years to live? What if you were that person with only 3 years left? How would you spend your time together? What would really be worth arguing about? I can tell you that after my wife's diagnosis, our disagreements would last 5 minutes max. We simply didn't have time to waste on stupid stuff.
4. If you or a loved one received a cancer diagnosis, understand that early vigilance can make the difference. Tell your boss what's going on and ask for he/she to support you. Then find the best doctor(s) you can afford. With serious cancer, it's very important that you see an excellent oncologist that your significant other trusts. So much of cancer is mental. Please don't overlook the trust factor. Bedside manner matters.
We love you all for showing us your kind Vol spirit over the last few years. Please continue to pray for us.
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I continue to receive kind emails from VolQuest community members asking about the status of my wife, Amy. I'm sad to report that Amy has lost her battle to breast cancer. She was only 36 years old.
Some of you contributed to our fund to help us during this 5-year ordeal. All I can do now is say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm in the process of mourning and putting my family's life back together. Because my daughter is 5 and a spitting image of her mother, I'm reminded daily that I have to move forward, even when I feel angry or just like crying.
Thank you men and women, again! This is what you built:
https://www.gofundme.com/manage/terminal-cancer-medical-fund
Now here are (4) things I learned that I hope will benefit you and your family. I'm going to steer clear of anything faith-related, because I want this message read and I know the rules.
1. When my wife was first diagnosed, she was pregnant with our daughter. We had a complicated case so I helped assemble a leading team of oncologists who did an excellent job helping my wife, and allowing my daughter to be born. Please know this - at least (2) of the oncologists mentioned that they're seeing younger and younger women diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm not a physician so I can't give you medical advice, but PLEASE research this, because I don't want to see another young woman suffer the way I saw my wife suffer. We all know by now that early detection is the key to survival. My wife's regular physician wasn't worried about the tiny lump on her breast that she showed him. By the numbers, she was "too young." That was a fateful mistake.
2. For anyone who doesn't have a life insurance policy who has dependents, get one or at a minimum, do your research and make an informed decision. I was very naive when I got married at a relatively young age and kept putting this off. We weren't bullet proof like I thought we were.
3. For married couples having fights, I know what you're going through, and I've been there, and I know how hard it is to quarrel with someone you love. But please consider this idea - what if the old "ball in chain" only had another 3 years to live? What if you were that person with only 3 years left? How would you spend your time together? What would really be worth arguing about? I can tell you that after my wife's diagnosis, our disagreements would last 5 minutes max. We simply didn't have time to waste on stupid stuff.
4. If you or a loved one received a cancer diagnosis, understand that early vigilance can make the difference. Tell your boss what's going on and ask for he/she to support you. Then find the best doctor(s) you can afford. With serious cancer, it's very important that you see an excellent oncologist that your significant other trusts. So much of cancer is mental. Please don't overlook the trust factor. Bedside manner matters.
We love you all for showing us your kind Vol spirit over the last few years. Please continue to pray for us.
brink
